Wednesday, September 30, 2009

ARE YOU A MEAN MOM?

IT LOOKS LIKE I AM EXACTLY THAT. I GUESS I SHOULD START BY DEFINING WHAT I CONSIDERED A MEAN MOM WHEN I WAS A KID BECAUSE I HAD A MEAN MOM.

MY MEAN MOM DID NOT LET ME EAT CAPTAIN CRUNCH AND POP TARTS FOR BREAKFAST. WE HAD EGGS, BACON OR SAUSAGE AND TOAST MOST MORNINGS. IF WE DID HAVE CEREAL IT WAS NOT THE SUGARY KIND.

MY MEAN MOM WOULD NOT LET ME DRESS IN A WAY SHE FELT WAS INAPPROPRIATE AND TAUGHT ME MODESTY FROM A YOUNG AGE SO I NEVER WANTED TO DRESS THAT WAY ANYWAY.

IF I MADE A COMMITMENT TO SERVE AT CHURCH, SING IN CHOIR, PLAY ON A SPORTS TEAM, ETC. SHE REQUIRED I FULFILLED THAT COMMITMENT...EVEN IF IT MEANT SHE HAD TO DRAG ME OUT OF BED TO BE AT 8:00AM MASS FOR CANDLE BEARER DUTY.

WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO WORK, EVEN BABYSITTING, SHE REQUIRED I GIVE HER A PORTION OF THE MONEY I EARNED TO BE SAVED. SHE PUT IT AWAY FOR ME AND GAVE IT TO ME WHEN I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL. IT WAS A NICE NEST EGG AND IT TAUGHT ME THE VALUE OF SAVING.

ACADEMICS WERE THE PRIORITY. MY PARENTS NEVER ENGAGED CONVERSATION ABOUT WHO IS TAKING WHO TO THE PROM, ETC. ETC. NOT THAT A MORE OPEN RELATIONSHIP ISN'T GREAT BUT THEIR GIVING A LIMITED STAGE TO SUCH THINGS DID HELP ME PUT THEM IN PERSPECTIVE.

I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE THINGS MY PARENTS DID THAT I TRULY DID NOT APPRECIATE AT THE TIME BUT NOW THAT I AM TRYING TO RAISE MY CHILDREN TO BE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS THAT HAVE THEIR PRIORITIES RIGHT, BOY DO I SEE THE VALUE. IT IS EVEN MORE APPARENT TO ME WHAT OUR SOCIETY IS DOING TO OUR YOUNG PEOPLE BY DOWNPLAYING THE IMPORTANCE OF CHARACTER BUILDING, DISCIPLINE, AND RIGHT PRIORITIES. THE "DO WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD" MENTALITY IS CREATING GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE THAT FEEL ENTITLED, SELFISH, AND NOT READY TO HANDLE THE DEMANDS OF THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD...OR LIFE IN GENERAL. WE SHOULD CARE MORE ABOUT THEIR CHARACTER THAN THEIR COMFORT. (I BORROWED THAT FROM RICK WARREN...THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE)

I HAVE ALL OF THIS ON MY MIND MORE THAN USUAL BECAUSE I HAVE DECIDED THAT ONE OF MY BOYS IN PARTICULAR, NEEDS TO FEEL CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS CHOICES...GOOD AND BAD. BOTH OF MY BOYS ARE GOOD BOYS AND I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE THEM. SOMETIMES I THINK IN MY ATTEMPTS TO GIVE THEM ALL THE THINGS I DID NOT HAVE AS A CHILD I MAY BE DEPRIVING THEM OF WHAT I DID HAVE...A MEAN MOM. IN HONOR OF MY MEAN MOM AND MY RESOLVE TO CARRY ON THE TRADITION, HERE IS WHAT I HAVE DONE THIS PAST WEEK TO DO THE TOUGH STUFF:

- I STAYED HOME WITH THE ONE CHILD WHO DID NOT GET HIS ROOM CLEANED BEFORE OUR "BIG MOVIE" DATE WHILE DAD AND BROTHER WENT TO SEE CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.

- I TOOK AWAY THE SNOW CONE OF THE CHILD THAT DID NOT KEEP IT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE. THIS IS THE RULE, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE RULE AND YES, I ATE WHAT WAS LEFT.

I NOW KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT TOUGH LOVE...IT IS TOUGH FOR US...NOT JUST THE KIDS. I WANTED TO GO TO THE MOVIES! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH EASIER TO LET IT SLIDE AND TAKE HIM ANYWAY. TAKING AWAY WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE BELOVED SNOW CONE WHEN THE END OF SUMMER IS NEAR...:( BUT WHAT WAS LEFT WAS TASTY ;) HEY, THE MEAN MOM DOES NEED SOME PERKS. IT'S A TOUGH JOB AND I HOPE THEY APPRECIATE IT SOMEDAY.

4 comments:

Grannalisa said...

They will appreciate it - eventually. I know I am so thankful that I had a mean mom - and dad when I was growing up to teach me that there are consequences for my actions and to set an example for the kind of parent I wanted to be.

Patti said...

They will appreciate it one day, beleive me! I am seeing the rewards of that myself now in my children. Being mean is another word for love! LOL

Jaci said...

What a wonderful post!

I hope I have the reputation of a "mean mom" one day. Looking back I am glad my mom did the things she did. She was a mean mom but I am thankful for that.

Keep up the good work with your kiddos.

Anonymous said...

Love that Amy and thanks for reminding me that it is OK to be a "mean mom". Even though we were "deprived" of those things, I look at Mama today and think what a wonderful momma she was and I can only hope to be half as good as she was! You are well on your way! Love you sis!

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