ARE YOU A MEAN MOM?

IT LOOKS LIKE I AM EXACTLY THAT. I GUESS I SHOULD START BY DEFINING WHAT I CONSIDERED A MEAN MOM WHEN I WAS A KID BECAUSE I HAD A MEAN MOM.

MY MEAN MOM DID NOT LET ME EAT CAPTAIN CRUNCH AND POP TARTS FOR BREAKFAST. WE HAD EGGS, BACON OR SAUSAGE AND TOAST MOST MORNINGS. IF WE DID HAVE CEREAL IT WAS NOT THE SUGARY KIND.

MY MEAN MOM WOULD NOT LET ME DRESS IN A WAY SHE FELT WAS INAPPROPRIATE AND TAUGHT ME MODESTY FROM A YOUNG AGE SO I NEVER WANTED TO DRESS THAT WAY ANYWAY.

IF I MADE A COMMITMENT TO SERVE AT CHURCH, SING IN CHOIR, PLAY ON A SPORTS TEAM, ETC. SHE REQUIRED I FULFILLED THAT COMMITMENT...EVEN IF IT MEANT SHE HAD TO DRAG ME OUT OF BED TO BE AT 8:00AM MASS FOR CANDLE BEARER DUTY.

WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO WORK, EVEN BABYSITTING, SHE REQUIRED I GIVE HER A PORTION OF THE MONEY I EARNED TO BE SAVED. SHE PUT IT AWAY FOR ME AND GAVE IT TO ME WHEN I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL. IT WAS A NICE NEST EGG AND IT TAUGHT ME THE VALUE OF SAVING.

ACADEMICS WERE THE PRIORITY. MY PARENTS NEVER ENGAGED CONVERSATION ABOUT WHO IS TAKING WHO TO THE PROM, ETC. ETC. NOT THAT A MORE OPEN RELATIONSHIP ISN'T GREAT BUT THEIR GIVING A LIMITED STAGE TO SUCH THINGS DID HELP ME PUT THEM IN PERSPECTIVE.

I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE THINGS MY PARENTS DID THAT I TRULY DID NOT APPRECIATE AT THE TIME BUT NOW THAT I AM TRYING TO RAISE MY CHILDREN TO BE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS THAT HAVE THEIR PRIORITIES RIGHT, BOY DO I SEE THE VALUE. IT IS EVEN MORE APPARENT TO ME WHAT OUR SOCIETY IS DOING TO OUR YOUNG PEOPLE BY DOWNPLAYING THE IMPORTANCE OF CHARACTER BUILDING, DISCIPLINE, AND RIGHT PRIORITIES. THE "DO WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD" MENTALITY IS CREATING GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE THAT FEEL ENTITLED, SELFISH, AND NOT READY TO HANDLE THE DEMANDS OF THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD...OR LIFE IN GENERAL. WE SHOULD CARE MORE ABOUT THEIR CHARACTER THAN THEIR COMFORT. (I BORROWED THAT FROM RICK WARREN...THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE)

I HAVE ALL OF THIS ON MY MIND MORE THAN USUAL BECAUSE I HAVE DECIDED THAT ONE OF MY BOYS IN PARTICULAR, NEEDS TO FEEL CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS CHOICES...GOOD AND BAD. BOTH OF MY BOYS ARE GOOD BOYS AND I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE THEM. SOMETIMES I THINK IN MY ATTEMPTS TO GIVE THEM ALL THE THINGS I DID NOT HAVE AS A CHILD I MAY BE DEPRIVING THEM OF WHAT I DID HAVE...A MEAN MOM. IN HONOR OF MY MEAN MOM AND MY RESOLVE TO CARRY ON THE TRADITION, HERE IS WHAT I HAVE DONE THIS PAST WEEK TO DO THE TOUGH STUFF:

- I STAYED HOME WITH THE ONE CHILD WHO DID NOT GET HIS ROOM CLEANED BEFORE OUR "BIG MOVIE" DATE WHILE DAD AND BROTHER WENT TO SEE CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.

- I TOOK AWAY THE SNOW CONE OF THE CHILD THAT DID NOT KEEP IT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE. THIS IS THE RULE, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE RULE AND YES, I ATE WHAT WAS LEFT.

I NOW KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT TOUGH LOVE...IT IS TOUGH FOR US...NOT JUST THE KIDS. I WANTED TO GO TO THE MOVIES! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH EASIER TO LET IT SLIDE AND TAKE HIM ANYWAY. TAKING AWAY WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE BELOVED SNOW CONE WHEN THE END OF SUMMER IS NEAR...:( BUT WHAT WAS LEFT WAS TASTY ;) HEY, THE MEAN MOM DOES NEED SOME PERKS. IT'S A TOUGH JOB AND I HOPE THEY APPRECIATE IT SOMEDAY.

ASSURE

Mason and I were going over his new list of vocabulary words last night. I was asking him what the words meant before he read the definitions to see if he had a general understanding of the meanings. One of the words was ASSURE. When I asked him the meaning he said, "it means to know for sure...to make someone count on it, like you mom. I gave him a surprised look when he said that and he went on to say, "when you say you'll be there you always mean it." Oh, that made me feel so good! I want so badly for my kids to know how important they are to me. I try so hard, like so many other moms, to juggle so many responsibilities and commitments that sometimes I have to miss some of their activities. It was great to hear that he knows he can count on me to be there for him. Even if it means we are in a rush 80% of the time and are eating fish sticks, turkey sandwiches, or pizza four nights a week, we make it work ;-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARK

That's my man! OK, that isn't him in the shirt...but he is now 40 and fabulous. Happy Birthday, hon! I hope you enjoyed your day and dinner with friends. You sure deserved a night all about you. I love you and hope you had a wonderful day.

Today I picked up the boys and was just about home when we saw an accident with an ambulance just past our house. In true small town fashion, I drove up to the police man and asked if everyone was OK. He said yes, someone just lost control on the wet pavement and couldn't make the ninety degree turn and went off the road and hit a tree. We turned the corner to head back to our house when Mason said, "Mom, we should pray for those people." Andrew agreed and we said a prayer for them right then. My heart was full of joy at the sound of their prayer. I love those moments when I get a glimpse of what the Lord is doing in their hearts. When the days can be filled with such trivial things like, clean your room, stop arguing with your brother, do your homework, etc. it is so good to have that moment when you see the most important relationship in their lives is growing. Today I am thankful.

Life with boys...

This is what I found on my bed this morning just before we jumped in the car to head off to school. Maybe Andrew was doing his best to try to replace the little blue throw pillow I let him take to school for nap time (how could I resist when he asked for it because it smelled like me). This new look could grow on me...GO STEELERS ;)

This Old House...

is beginning to feel like a home. The sheet rock is up and finished. Mark is working to complete the trim work now. This is a detailed process for anyone but especially for my man. He is very detailed and wants to make sure this step is done right since (in his words) he will have to look at it every day and does not want someone's sloppy job to drive him crazy. Let's just say that some subcontractors are not as committed to doing a job as well as he would like. The guy that did our cabinets is a definite exception. He did a wonderful job making these fabulous cabinets with inlaid doors.

Here are a few shots of the kitchen after the beautiful cabinets were installed. We plan to paint the wall cabinets white and finish the base cabinets and pantry a deep mahogany.

THE MICROWAVE WILL GO HERE UNDER THE COUNTER BESIDE A BANK OF DRAWERS CONTAINING EVERYDAY DISHES TO GIVE THE BOYS EASY ACCESS.

THIS IS JUST HALF OF MY WALL WITH THE BIG WINDOW. JUST PICTURE A FARM SINK AND THESE BEAUTIFUL COUNTER TOPS

THIS RANGE WILL GO ON THIS WALL WITH A SUBWAY TILE BACK SPLASH.


THIS REFRIGERATOR WILL GO NEXT TO THE PANTRY AND THE ISLAND WILL BE WHITE WITH A LITTLE PREP SINK AND HOPEFULLY A BUTCHER BLOCK TOP.

Can you tell the kitchen is my favorite part of any home. It is the heart of every home. I can't wait to cook our first big dinner in this new kitchen. I still need to pick out cabinet hardware. I am having second thought about these cabinet latches. Although I LOVE the look of them, I don't think they are very practical. It might get old having to twist the latch to open the cabinet all the time. Any ideas on an alternative? I just haven't found anything else I love.

So that's it for this episode of This Old House. Join us next time when the cabinets are finished, the trim & doors are painted and finished, and I take a week off from work to PAINT EVERY ROOM OF THE HOUSE! Yeah, that should be fun. I'll welcome anyone who wants to come join me. I'll even buy you a paint roller :-)